Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."

A Pakistani farmer migrates to USA. He comes to know that cattle farming is big business. So he buys several cows, hoping to breed them for milk, cheese, beef, etc.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the cows are getting pregnant and calls the vet for help.
The vet tells the Pakistani farmer that he should try artificial insemination.

The Pakistani doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the cows are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.

The Pakistani hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the cows. So, he loads the cows into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, the Pakistani wakes and looks out at the cows. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take effect, and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, has sex twice with each cow for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

The next morning, the Pakistani cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the cows. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the cows are laying in the mud.

'No,' she says, 'they are all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.'

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.

Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.

As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, "Hey, What do you think you're doing here?"

Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee"

Police : "No PP here okay ? Follow me."

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.

Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day".

Pakistani tourist : "Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?"

Police: "No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!"

My Dear Countrymen (women don’t count in our country)!
It has been long since I addressed you last time. Stop clapping, you ingrates. A number of developments and incidents have taken place in our region, around the globe and the Muslim world. Unfortunately, most of it involves abusing Pakistan. And internally, we are passing through a delicate phase in our history. Wait…do we have a history? I thought we didn’t have a history or a future. I think at this stage the nation needs unity and understand the issues in their proper perspective. So I thought that I should address you. So I can give you the improper perspective and keep you as confused as ever.